Kumustahan!

One question that strikes me when it is asked is the statement "Kumusta ka na?". well, sometimes I want to say my deepet longings and my deepest desires. but for a split second my mind starts to consider if the things I'm going to say would benefit the listener and me. It is hard to filter everything I'm going to say. it's very hard to live righteously and have a good testimony to others. sometimes, when you want to present yourself as someone okay, there are struggles that you will see that are very hard to overcome. sometimes you start dwelling on these kinds of negativities and at the end of the day you'll see yourself defeated.

Then one day, I stumbled upon a teaching that one of the writers of my devotional wrote. He said that God is our greatest help. The wierd thing about this is that, it happened the time I had a great struggle and prayed to God to help me with it. It's also kind of awesome because I had time to reflect. Time to see what really is happening to me. "I got help from a book!" I realized. It was king of great that these writing led me to the words of which I am dwelling up today. The Scriptural words I always declare and that comforts me. Psalm 54:4 which states "God is my helper". In times of my struggles, though there are still times that I stumble to each trials, however it gives me strength to keep moving forward! (That statement came from the movie "Meet the Robinsons")

I also had experienced this encounter not only twice but almost a long period of time. all my quiet moments with God tackled about how he can help me and how I can put my faith in him. this had helped me to really sink in the idea that I have a powerful God that is Backing me up.

Also one of the stories that had helped me to know how can I understand God and how he works, is during the conversation I had with my housemate, "Diadem". He was a pastor's kid and I am very much blessed and encouraged everytime he speaks about his father's teachings. sometimes he relates his own experiences in life but more often he shares his father's. He said about the faith size of a mustard seed. He said that Having such little faith can move mountains, but during his dad's preaching, the mustard seed that he explained was not just literally the size of a mustard seed. it was just a metaphor for Faith that Grows. For us to know God's plan and fulfill our purpose and overcome our stuggles, we must have faith that grows. SO how can we let our faith grow? In simple terms we must care for it like a growing plant. Provide nourishment by reading the word of God, tilling the soil by having applying everything we learn and by pulling up the grasses around it by overcoming our stuggles one by one and having help. this led me to realize that I need to express my struggles to people concerned and to really fix things. This gave me the courage to tell my folks about the problems I had when I was just a kid. this led me also to telling my friends and discipler that I am not okay to some things and I am the one who approched them and making an initiative to say "The time you asked me if I'm okay, my answer would be no..". that had helped me a lot. because then, I was just supressing what I feel and unknowingly, I have done things that manifested my anger like a poor performance in my academics and sudden change of mood.

I want to thank God for giving me these chances and realizations. trials that became blessings and helping me to build accountability with other people. Then, I just put faith as little as a mustard seed and see God only as a genie that when you ask, he'll give. but he's more than that. he's Greater. now I put my growing faith in him and let him manifest more in my life.